June 2nd 1989 about 5:15pm

     I slept all day. Body and mind floating somewhere. It was foggy,
temperature not unpleasant when I arrived in Vienna. Birds are very
active at the moment. Sky still overcast and cool. I feel comfortable
here. My back hurts a bit from 9 hours of airplane sitting and more
than 12 hours in bed. In the last few hours in Boston I realized I
could've done much more to prepare. I hope we can manage some
arrangement so it will be possible for Erika to go to B.U. At least
for the first year so she can test her abilities.

     I saw Franz Lizt walk by my window a while ago. He had a brief
case under his arm and was with Lisl. They both were dressed in
business clothes rushing off somewhere. Tomorrow I must see if Franz
is available to discuss my situation with the house, Erika, R.G., etc.
I've spoken casually to a few people about FH's possible interest in
the Boston house. Susan for one. Not much response. I'm thinking the
best solution may be to come way down on the asking price. I hope R.G.
is able to keep things working; the small practical tasks; cleaning,
laundry, groceries, cooking, etc. Perhaps he will make more demands on
everyone who lives there.  Whether he gets co-operation or not is the
question. Perhaps Sandy will be willing to devote some time and energy
to the place. She loves R.G. very much and it will be easier for her
to play a stronger role with me gone.  I had good feelings about Erika
as we drove to the airport with Zehmira and Elizar. She was calm but
included herself. I love her and when she is her best I also like her.
Everyone I have spoken to here has asked for her. They all knew about
the accident and wanted detailed information on her current state of
mind; how does she feel about herself, will she visit soon?

     My best contact so far was a long conversation after dinner with
Zocki and Olivia, both 16 or 17 I think, They have changed
dramatically since I last saw them. Zocki was a moody rebel, somewhat
like Erika, now she appears happy, mature. She, Olivia and I spoke a
mixture of German, English and a little Spanish from 8-11pm. I learned
more with them than the 6 weeks of lessons at home. I'd lost track of
time. Gerd came by and asked us to close the windows before we left
the room.  Some people thought I had only come to visit again and were
very surprised that R.G. did not come with me. Others seemed to know
that I was here to stay this time.  Things are extremely relaxed. I
got hugged and kissed. I was the one who was a little stiff and unsure
about the amount of physical contact that was O.K. Ary from Amsterdam
was the first to welcome me. He's still working in the Kitchen.  I
wonder why. He's so good looking. When Erika and I were in Amsterdam I
remember him as being very talented, musically etc.. Jan Lindemann is
running the office now. He picked me up at the airport. His English is
not so great. He told me during the winter there were only 7 people on
FH keeping the whole place running. I couldn't believe it. Luckily
they had no snow, just like our winter. The scene at the airport in
Boston seems so far away already. I felt calm but close to everyone,
Erika, Sandy, Edwin, Bill, R.G. Zehmira and Eliazer too. They slipped
a small, pink, embroidered, hand stitched bag in my pocket. A gift
from Sabra. Inside was a small card in watercolor and calligraphy that
said "This is a memorable day in your life. Your crossing the Atlantic
ocean in search of a new life...new beginning...new friends...new
relationships...new ability to create. It is a search few have courage
to try. Here is a treasure tucked away." " A friend loves at all
times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity." Proverbs 17:17.
"The tea is to drink those first nights when the excitement makes it
hard to sleep. Your friends at 92 Melville Ave. Dorchester. We'd love
to continue to hear from you." I took this little note out and read it
on the plane. It warmed me. I was the last one to get on the plane in
Boston. Every seat was filled. I kept walking down the aisle looking
for my seat. It was the last row in the tail of the plane, in the
middle between two young blond German guys. I hate the middle seat but
this worked out just fine. Turned you one of them was a delight. We
talked the entire trip. He was a doctor coming back from a medical
conference in California. Came from a long line of doctors, mother and
father both M.D.'s practicing in Muenster. He drew me a map in my note
book showing me where he was from. Grandfather and Great Grandfather
were doctors. His name was Michael Koenigsmann. He will be going back
to Boston in July for 2 years. He gave me his address. His speciality
is Cancer, particularly Leukemia. I told him he must contact my friend
Richard Gardner, that we have wonderful mutual friends. He said he
would contact him. I gave him Allen Haberman's number too and told him
about Bill and our friends at SUS HAUS. We talked about cancer
treatments, religion and faith, science and technology, buying and
selling. When we left the plane together at Frankfurt we shook hands
and thanked each other for a worthwhile trip.

     I was aware of relaxed security in Frankfurt and Vienna airports
compared with previous trips. no one stopped me. No customs checks.
Almost no officials to be seen.. Only one passport check in Vienna.
Only one difficulty in Boston. Lufthansa would not let me take my
paintings on the plane. They wrestled them from me just as I was going
to board. They promised me they would be safe in the cargo area.
Indeed they arrived in Vienna but looked as though someone had dragged
them through the mud.

10pm

     I went to dinner. First meal of the day for me. Patricia was
leading. She made some comments to me as I stood in the line for food
and later at the table. She asked how long I would be staying.
"Forever" I answered. "Good" she said. After dinner Violaine,
Magdalene, Sara Lilli's mother, William, Viola, Katarina and several
woman whose names I didn't recognize went with a bunch of kids to
Violaine's room for a children's Palaver. They said I could join them.
I'm trying very hard with my German. It's best for me to play with the
kids. The communication is simple.  I am not treated like a guest.
There is no translator at meals, everyone so far is very kind but
expecting me to speak German when I can. After the kid's Palaver
Magdalene, Sara Lilli's mother and I took Sara Lilli, Lila, and Julia
out Bicycle riding. By now it was 8:30 getting dark,chilly and damp.
We rode bikes around the new sports platz. A very snazzy outdoor court
with some kind of rubber surface colorfully lined for basketball and
other sports. All the roads around the lake and the big storage areas
have been asphalted and landscaped. Much nicer than I remembered .
Sara Lilli remembered seeing me in Boston when Lili came for her
operation. She remembered mostly having a lot of competition for
attention with Attila. When it got too dark we went back to the
Lilibau. At the door I said good night to the kids. They wanted to
know why I wasn't sleeping in the in the Lilibau. It made me feel
good. They wanted me to stay with them. I told them perhaps i would be
moving into the Lilibau in a few months.

     Earlier this evening Magdalene said "you are one of us now." I
went to kitchen and ran into Berndt Stein. He kissed me and said "I'd
heard you were here but I haven't sen you." He still looked the role
of "Mr. Business". He was rushing off somewhere. In the kitchen Ary
made me some coffee. "You work long hour always in the kitchen" I
said. "You make it sound like I'm a gas station attendent" says he. "I
know it's not bad in the kitcen, I like kitchen work" says I. Tomorrow
I'm going to bring him that Indian cookbook I brought with me.
Gundella, an older woman, a teacher on FH, in the group since 1977 was
also in the kitchen. I aske d if she remembered Richard from his time
there in 1978-79. she did. We talked about half an hour about Erika,
education in the US, expenses, how university education in Europe is
free. She said Boston University has a good reputation in Europe but
she was amazed at the cost. This is one of the sick aspects of
American society. Cost of education. It can ruin some families who try
to put their kids through school and wind up in debt forever.

      I'm in my room now and hear music. A woman who's name I can't
remember and I were talking about the irregular weather patterns on
FH, Boston and on Gomera too this past winter. No snow in Boston or
FH-no rain on Gomera. She asked where Erika was living. "Now with R.G.
and then she goes to her father in Maine." She knew where Maine was
because she had taught geography in the past. She knew I had taught
drawing and painting and said maybe I could teach here on FH. (Good
idea I'm thinking) As I leave the kitchen I run into Franz Lizt. He
kisses me. "Where have you been?" he asked. He mentioned the
information he needed from R.G. for the fax card. I told him I had the
stuff for him and we could meet tomorrow.

     I bought the European version of the Wall Street Journal in
Frankfurt. On the cover was a story about Bill Gates and Lawrence
Ellison. I must send it to R.G.

     Yesterday afternoon I called R.G. to tell him I had arrived. It
was about 8 am his time. I had not yet been to bed. i woke him up. His
voice was soft. "I missed you last night" he said. I can't really sat
that I miss anyone yet. I think it is too soon. Maybe it's Erika I
feel the most anxiety about. Perhaps tonight I will miss his warm soft
body next to me, especially with the current chill in theair. I asked
about Vironi. She is in Berlin. I must find out who is in charge of
medical stuff. I would like to make sure this time is counted towards
my quarentine.

     Werner Hertl asked me to go running with him every night at 6 pm.
He spoke to me at dinner tonight. Ironic, R.G. and I would always run
around 6pm.

     I'll stop this to finish unpacking I flipped through HOW REAL IS
REAL The first book R.G gave me. (I think he starts educating all his
women in this way) The pages stopped at a chapter called "Paradoxes".
The quote at the beginning of the page caught my eye and seemed
apropriate:

			"To think that I am not going
			  to think of you any more
			  is still thinking of you.
			  Let me then try not to think
			  that I am not going to think of you."
						Zen Saying