Tuesday, November 4, 1986

Notice seen in Nov. 86, Art New England:

Lotus Development Corporation seeks talented artists to participate in
exhibitions program.  Invitations to exhibit will be based on artistic
ability and standards set by a committee.  Exhibitions and opening
receptions will be held six times yearly in a first-rate exhibition
space.  Exhibition history is not required.  Send your name, address,
and telephone number, and 6 slides of your work to Janet Axelrod,
Lotus Arts, 55 Cambridge Parkway, Cambridge MA 02142.


Suggested, to Rise, that she send in slides of her art of the last two
years.  But it's too small!  Nah.  Make the slides, send them in.  If
they are accepted then she can go ahead and make big ones.  She mock
accuses me of always finding things that will expand her
possibilities.

Friday, November 7, 1986

Last night myself, Jennifer, James and Rise, go to the airport.  We
are seeing Rise off on her six day vacation to Atlanta.  She and I
have lunch at Ta Chien.  I remember her, me, and Glen eating there two
years ago.  He got quite a whack on the head that day.  And then more
in the days that followed.
 Then he sank - like a, like the Titanic.  Had an air of
I-can-handle-anything about him.  People who are sure of their
uncertainty are much better risks.  Rise and Cynthia are like that.
They can see ahead but are very cautious.  Rise a little more so, in
some ways, but on the other hand, a little more eager to opt for a
situation where she is in control - but of a leakier ship.  We talked
about "talking about everything" and how her ideas/idea of
"everything" has gotten bigger over the last several years.
 She told me the story of "Ed & sex".  How he wanted to talk about
doing it before they did it.  Said it took her months to get it out.
She does not want, didn't want, to be aware of certain things.  True
today.  There is something on my mind to talk about.  Two things,
actually.  The first is alcohol.  Sex and alcohol.  Atlanta, sex and
alcohol.  Doug and sex and alcohol.  I am getting the impression that
there may be a pattern with her, sex, and alcohol.

Jennifer and I are having breakfast at the S & S.  We are writing in
our respective journals.  Imagine someone, a great-great-great
grandchild of yours sitting here, having breakfast, and reading your
journal.  She and James have been "roommates" of mine for about a week
now.  A clearer picture of the two of them is coming into view.  They
are quite incompatible for each other.  Only a lot of changing will
make living together possible for those two.  Jennifer tells me she
suggested James do the laundry.  It would have been good for him.  He
could have gotten away from her for more than an hour.  He'd have two
half-hours of uninterrupted reading or study, and a chance to be
social.  But he is very short-sighted in that way.  He was not pleased
to be at the airport.  Had it been just him and Rise, or another
woman, I imagine he would have been more enthusiastic.  He has no real
social vision.  It's all abstract and never involves him personally.
He prefers to drift off in a fantasy world of total satisfaction.  But
he does have a lot of imagination, interests, and curiosity.  I can
imagine he will do well.  A good combination of intellectual and
artistic talents.  Unfortunately, he is lacking in all the right kind
of social skills that would make living together enjoyable.  He is a
con artist in that respect.  He is an expert weasel, weaver, welcher,
wobbler, leaving a trail of broken, half-mended, jury-rigged social
artifacts behind him.  I am absolutely certain of this.  I know the
same tendency in myself.  I am constantly working at keeping one thing
or another from collapsing around me.  Jennifer, on the other hand, is
very skilled socially.  While she has had troubles with the men in her
past, it seems likely that she will learn how to cope.  Unfortunately,
she makes the idea of a man, marriage, family, too big a part of her
life.  I can see that most of what she does is pointing in that
direction.  James is the wrong man for that.  I could not support the
two of them in this way.  She learns very quickly.  There's no
defensiveness on her part when I make an observation or suggestion.
She understands, knows, immediately.